If you want to know my story with herbalism, then you need to know it all, and that includes the ugly parts. Like waking up in a psychiatric ward - by far my rockbottom of bottoms. I didn’t understand the meaning of self-care back then. For far too long, I was living outside my body, completely dissociated from reality and ignoring all the signs that I was sick. I was working myself to death at very high-stress job, and numbing my pain at home with drugs and alcohol to cope. I was completely out of control and I couldn’t handle it anymore, so one night I tried to end my life. Thank God I was unsuccessful. But when I woke up in the psych ward the next morning, I couldn’t even believe this was my life now. I mean, this was some Girl Interrupted shit (see the movie if you don’t know what I’m referring to). Once I got over the anger of still being alive (and now being trapped in a hospital), I realized that it was actually a gift and embraced the surrender. My mind, body and soul were completely exhausted from doing life the old way; and unless I wanted to continue living in a place where I had to trade my yogurt cup with another patient just to get a second cup of coffee, then I needed to get my shit together and get healthy.
Plants are magically resilient organisms with the power to regenerate and heal themselves. Even if they have been previously neglected (by being kept in darkness or starved of basic nutrients), they can completely restore homeostasis when given the proper care and medicine from NATURE. Surely, if something as delicate as a plant can heal itself with nature, then that means I could heal too. I needed some time, so my psychiatrist put me on medical leave for a few months. During that time, I dove deep into self-care, self-discovery and herbalism. When I wasn’t in outpatient care for my mental health, I was self-teaching about adaptogens, nervines, relaxants and nutritive herbs. I wasn’t allowed to take benzos anymore for anxiety (nor did I want to), so instead, I experimented with different teas and smoking blends of lavender, catnip, skullcap, linden, rose, and chamomile. And of course the occasional cannabis as well. Holy life-changer! I was hooked and needed to know more, so I joined The Herbal Academy and graduated in 2019 from their Intermediate Course! I highly recommend their beginner and intermediate courses for those who are interested in getting certified (not sponsored I just love their courses and recipes).
These days I'm stable and although I do take a daily SNRI, I don’t take any additional medication for anxiety or sleep anymore… only plant allies. I am obsessed with making tinctures, elixirs and tonics and who knows what else I’ll make next. I’m slowly starting an herbal business, however sourcing the herbs is pretty difficult right now - I wish I grew my own!!! I hope that eventually I won’t need my daily pill anymore, but I am not willing to quit taking it just yet (at least not during this unpredictable health and financial pandemic). In addition to herbalism, I am also a HUGE advocate for neural reprogramming, EMDR, breath work, mediation, yoga and doing some serious shadow work. Herbalism and connecting with plant medicine has truly transformed my life. My story has some dark & terrifying moments, but it has shown me the power of resilience and I wouldn’t change it for anything.
Disclaimer: It is extremely dangerous to stop taking psychiatric medication cold turkey. Please do not attempt. Tapering off meds is only recommended under the care and supervision of a licensed professional.
Follow her on instagram: @brooke_alyssa